


Together You Loved

by Merfreak



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23555956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merfreak/pseuds/Merfreak
Summary: Jumping on board the famous Doctor Who psychic link trope. The reader undergoes a nonconsensual psychic link with the Master. Through working to break it, the Doctor and the reader realize their feelings for each other. Smut ensues.
Relationships: Thirteenth Doctor/Reader, Thirteenth Doctor/You
Comments: 16
Kudos: 99





	1. Another Presence in Your Mind

It was night when the Master first entered your mind. You were sound asleep in your room on the TARDIS. It had taken you longer than usual to fall asleep, and your restless dreams quickly devolved into disjointed nightmares as the night wore on. You were running, then falling, then drowning, the only constant was your pounding heart and the looming feelings of fear and terror as your mind tried to escape…escape what? Suddenly, and with stark clarity, you felt a hand wrap around your wrist and pull you around hard against a solid form. You saw the Master, his face inches from your own.

“ _Hello, love.”_ His words ripped through your mind like a serrated knife, and you began to scream. Your dream dissolved into blackness, but you couldn’t make your eyes open. You were overwhelmed entirely by the searing pain that roared through your brain. You writhed on your bed, hands clawing first at the sheets around you, then your face, trying to find relief. You felt something wet on your cheek; funny, you didn’t think you were crying.

The TARDIS alerted the Doctor the moment before you screamed. The ship had felt it, some unknown malignant psychic interference, not only within her walls, but directed towards (Y/N). The Doctor and the TARDIS shared a great deal of love for Yaz, Graham, and Ryan, but over time both the ship and the time lord had found their love for (Y/N) to be of a different sort. Perhaps this is why the blonde immediately began sprinting to your room as soon as the TARDIS alerted her. And perhaps is also why the Doctor felt her hearts drop into her stomach as she heard your scream echo down the corridor. She burst into your room and the TARDIS brought the lights up to a warm glow. She saw you twisting in pain, and quickly ran to the side of your bed and slid a hand under your shoulders, lifting your body up. Her other hand went to cup the side of your face and that’s when she saw blood trickling down your cheek from long scratches along your temple.

“(Y/N)!” The Doctor called, frantically trying to wake you. She set you back on the bed and grabbed your hands, trying to hold them still. Your eyes remained shut, and strained whimpers kept pouring from your lips. The TARDIS hummed to the Doctor. “I know I have to, I’m just trying to think of anything else I could do.” The Doctor snapped back. The ship hummed again, harsher. “Alright!” Huffed the Doctor, caving. She quickly pressed her fingertips to your temples and connected to your mind.

You were suddenly aware of another presence in your broken mind. The Doctor. There were no words, but you knew. You were overcome with the strong feeling that she wasn’t actually in your mind, was only reaching out if you wanted to allow her access. Her presence calmed the pain enough for you to reach lucidity for a moment.

“Please.” You murmured, before succumbing once more. The Doctor allowed her mind to link with yours, and she felt everything. She knew exactly what it was, and it shook her to her core. Putting aside her shock, she quickly began working, soothing your mind, easing the fragmented bits back into place. The pain dissipated, and your body sunk into the bed. A few moments later, the Doctor withdrew from your mind, and your eyes opened at last. “Doctor” you said, your voice rough. You coughed and tried again. “What happened?”

“Not now. You need to rest, we can talk about it in the morning.” She moved to get up, but you grabbed her hand. You tried to protest, you wanted to protest, but you were _so_ tired. Instead, all that came out was:

“Please stay.” Your request caught the Doctor off guard. She almost said no, but her need to be near you won.

“Alright.” She said, her voice softer than usual. You shifted over in the bed, allowing the Doctor room to lie down. Before reclining on the bed alongside you, the Doctor shook off her long coat and removed her shoes, leaving them where they fell on the ground. She felt your eyes on her as she did so, and wondered why that knowledge caused something within her to flutter. She left a few inches between your bodies as she lay down, still unsure of your boundaries. You answered the unspoken question by curling up against her side, and bringing your arm up so your hand was barely resting on her shoulder. It wasn’t an entirely comfortable position, but it felt right; you wanted to be close to her. Had you given it a moment of thought you would have realized that want of closeness had become more and more frequent as your time with the Doctor had progressed. But your eyes were already falling shut, your breathing evening out as sleep overtook you.

The Doctor rarely needed to sleep, and she expected to lie with you until she was sure you were in a deep REM cycle before quietly slipping away. As the first hour slipped by, she began to forget why she should leave. In your sleep you moved closer to the Doctor until you were flush against her, your arm falling to lie across her stomach. Instinctively, the Doctor opened her arm and hugged it around your shoulders, holding you against her. You sighed contentedly in your sleep. The Doctor felt that same flutter, and she let her fingertips move of their own accord, gently stroking the soft skin of your upper arm. Her mind wandered, thinking about what had happened to you, and how it could have occurred. Somehow time slipped away, and before she knew it, the TARDIS gently brought the lights up, indicating that “night” was over. The others had to be stirring by now. It was that thought which roused the Doctor and convinced her to gently pull away from (Y/N) and attempt to get up. Her movements pulled you from your sleep, and you blinked drowsily, watching the Doctor put on her previously discarded garments.

“I’m going to go check on the rest of the fam. Maybe park in Sheffield, let everyone go home for a while. Then you and I can figure out what happened last night?” She asked, back to her usual quick-paced self.

“M-kay.” You said, rubbing a hand across your face as you began to sit up. The Doctor gave you what seemed like a forced smile and then left your room, closing the door behind her. With a sigh you got up and began to pull on clothes, brush your hair, and generally get ready for what you dreaded was going to be a very long day. You walked past the mirror, and felt your heart jump as your eyes landed on the still bloody scratch wounds on your face. You had forgotten they were there. With a tentative hand you reached up to gently prod at the edge of one of the gashes. You winced at the dull sting. There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Yeah?” You called out, turning away from the mirror. The Doctor entered again, and you saw her eyes immediately go to your injury.

“Do you want me to fix that?” She asked, walking forward.

“Would you?” You asked. She nodded and gently grabbed your chin, angling your face so she could better see the cuts. “Do you think it’ll scar?” You asked, your voice catching.

“Not if I use this.” The Doctor smiled, pulling out her sonic screwdriver. She flipped it on a few times, the hum changing in pitch each go. “There. Dermal repair, it’ll mend your skin like nothing ever happened.” You nodded, relief flooding through your body. The time lord leaned closer and tucked your hair behind your ear before beginning to scan the sonic over your profile. You quickly felt the throbbing pain fade, and in a moment you could feel nothing at all.

The Doctor watched as (Y/N)’s wounds became shallower and then finally closed for good, leaving no trace, only her smooth skin. She was shaken by the sudden urge to reach out and gently run her thumb over your healed cheek. To keep herself from doing just that, she quickly stepped back, shoving the sonic back into her pocket.

“All better.” She said, forcing a normal grin. You turned and gazed into the mirror, fingers probing where the cuts had been.

“Thank you.” You smiled, turning back to face the Doctor.

“We’ve parked in Sheffield, like I said, and Yaz, Graham, and Ryan have all left for a bit. Let’s walk, yeah?” She asked, her demeanor quieting down. You nodded and the two of you left the TARDIS and began to walk along the street outside, going nowhere in particular.

“You underwent a psychic linking last night.” The Doctor spoke first.

“A what?”

“A psychic link, someone linked their mind with yours. Forcibly, that’s why it hurt so much. It’s not-” her voice rose in anger and she clamped down on it for a moment before speaking again. “It’s not meant to be that way. A psychic bond is a beautiful moment between people who truly care about and trust each other. To force one on another person is…is horrific.”

“Oh.” You said, your voice small.

“I couldn’t see who it was, when you let me into your mind to help, I tried, but I couldn’t see.”

“The Master.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, but the words seemed to cut through the air. The Doctor stopped walking, almost frozen.

“Come sit.” She finally said, walking over to sit down heavily on a nearby bench. You sat next to her, and there was silence for a few moments.

“What does a psychic link mean?” You asked.

“It means you’ve shared minds, there’s always a low-level telepathic connection, and one can enter the others’ mind whenever they want.”

“But I can’t feel him in my head anymore.” You puzzled.

“I put up a temporary block last night when I realized what had happened. I can’t permanently sever the bond though, not unless-” she cut herself off, embarrassed at what she had been about to say.

“Unless what?” You pushed.

“Unless I was psychically bonded to you as well.” She fiddled with her earring cuff, an action you rarely saw, but had come to recognize as a nervous tic.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” You murmured. The Doctor’s breath hitched and she had to remind herself that you’re human, you don’t understand the connotations behind a mental bond.

“I can’t, not without hurting you. A psychic link has to be wanted in its entirety by both participants. Only wanting it to…to achieve a means isn’t enough.”

“Then…you have to leave me.” You quickly stood up from the bench, regarding the Doctor with a mixture of fear and sadness. “That’s why you brought me out here. You knew that I have to go.”

“What?!” The Doctor said, jumping up too.

“ _You see (Y/N)? The Doctor lies.”_ A voice, the Master’s voice, echoed in your head.

“I can’t be on the TARDIS, around you, if I’m some kind of sleeper agent for the Master!” You cried, taking half a step back. “It puts you and Yaz and Graham and Ryan all at risk. You knew that, of course you knew that. That’s why we’re here now, not on the TARDIS.” You gestured wildly at the Earth around you.

“(Y/N), no.” The Doctor’s voice was strained, and she came forward then took your hand in hers. “I brought you out here so you would be away from the low-level telepathic field of the TARDIS, I wanted to give your mind a chance to rest. I don’t want you to go, that is unless you want to.” What she didn’t say was that of course she knew you were compromised, a risk to her and the fam, it was one of the first things she’d pondered that night she’d held you while you slept. But the thought of not having you near was horrible, and she didn’t care what the risk, she was going to stay with you. _Oh_. She suddenly realized. The flutters in her chest, her need to be touching you, and now her panic at even the thought of you leaving. She mentally kicked herself for being so oblivious, but then again, it had been ages since she’d felt this way about someone.

“I don’t want to go either.” Your voice was small and tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes. “But I don’t want to be responsible for hurting you…or the others.”

“ _Oh, and you will, their deaths are going to be all your fault.”_ The Master’s voice rang gleefully through your mind.

“Stop!” You shouted, clutching your head. The Doctor pulled back, fear flashing through her eyes until she realized your cry wasn’t directed at her.

“He’s back?” She asked. You nodded, letting your arms fall back heavily to your sides. “Stay with me, on the TARDIS, and I promise I’ll find a way to break this link.”

“We can’t just leave Earth, what if he does something to it while we’re gone, what if this is a distraction?”

“But if he’s after you, we need to keep moving.” The Doctor countered, running a hand through her hair. They were silent for a few moments.

“I want to tell Yaz, Ryan, and Graham.” You finally said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. They’re part of our team, and I want them to know.” You said, more decidedly than you felt.

“Alright, we can meet them back in the TARDIS?” The Doctor asked. You nodded and began to text the three of them while you and the Doctor returned to the blue box.

Yaz, Graham, and Ryan took the news surprisingly well. They were more worried about your wellbeing than anything, and you squirmed a little at being so on the spot.

“You have to go.” Ryan finally said.

“Ryan!” Yaz snapped, whipping around to face him.

“No, I don’t mean like that, but you can’t stay here on Earth. If the Master’s in your head, he can see where you are, and he can find you. You’ve already been here too long.”

“Ryan’s right, it’s not safe for you.” Graham nodded.

“But what about the Earth? You remember what he tried to do last time. What if this is what he wants?” You asked.

“ _What a clever girl.”_ The Master’s voice spoke, and you shivered.

“We’ll stay here.” Yaz said, squaring her shoulders. “You and the Doctor run, and the three of us will protect the Earth.”

“I can’t ask that of you.” The Doctor said, shaking her head.

“Who’s asking?” Ryan said.

“They’re right, Doc.” Graham agreed. “This is the best way to keep everyone safe.”

“I don’t deserve you.” You said, coming forward to pull all three of them into a hug.

“You’d better come back as soon as you break that psychic bond.” Yaz threatened, squeezing your hand.

“Don’t think you’re getting rid of us.” Graham chimed in.

“I would never.” The Doctor replied, walking forward to give each of them a hug too. After a few more minutes of tearful goodbyes, the fam began to file out of the TARDIS. Yaz was the last to leave, and before she did so, she gave you one last hug.

“You stay safe.” She said firmly. “And you have our numbers. I’m expecting updates every day.” You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak, and with that, the door closed and it was just you and the Doctor.


	2. The Soldier, The Healer

"(Y/N)?” The Doctor asked gently. She fought back the overwhelming urge to wrap you in a hug, maybe press a kiss to your forehead and whisper that it was going to be alright. But she didn’t. Just because she had realized the nature of her feelings towards you didn’t mean you reciprocated them, and she didn’t want to do anything that would make you uncomfortable.

“I’m okay.” You said, wiping away a few stray tears before squaring your shoulders. You tried not to think about how that might be the last time you ever see the three of them.

_“Alive.”_ The Master chimed in. You winced, but tried to ignore him.

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but if he’s in your head, you can’t know where we’re going.” The Doctor said, rooting around in her coat pockets before pulling out a yellow handkerchief.

“No, I understand.” You replied, and walked forward, turning so the Doctor could tie the cloth around your eyes in a blindfold. Her scent enveloped you as her arms wrapped around to gently place the handkerchief over your closed eyes. You felt your heart begin to race, but you attributed it to fear of the situation.

“I’m going to have to walk you out of the control room, to another part of the TARDIS. A Time Lord would recognize TARDIS sounds, and he could track us that way.” The Doctor said, her voice unusually apologetic.

“Okay.” You said, floating your hands up in front of you, feeling off balance at the loss of one of your senses. You felt the Doctor gently take hold of your left forearm, her other hand resting on your lower back. Her touch made you feel more grounded. She guided you carefully, telling you when to step up or down. It didn’t take long for you to completely lose any idea of where you were going. You simply walked, led blindly by the Doctor. At last you stopped, and she helped you sit on the ground. The ground felt like grass beneath your fingertips, and you heard what seemed to be rushing water. You felt a strong urge to rip off your blindfold so you could see what the room looked like, but you resisted.

“I’ll be back in just a moment, I promise.” The Doctor said from somewhere to your right. You nodded, and then vaguely heard the sounds of her footsteps receding.

“ _I thought she’d never leave.”_ The Master spoke. You pulled your knees into your chest and squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block him out. _“What? No kind words for your Master?”_ You remained silent. _“Not like last time we sat together like this then.”_

“That was when you were O, before I knew what you’d done!” You snapped, burying your head in your hands.

_“At last, she speaks.”_ The Master seemed to smirk. _“And you talk about what I’ve done, and yet you trail after the Doctor like a puppy.”_

“What do you mean?”

_“She hasn’t told you? About all the lives she’s taken, worlds she’s burned?”_ He began to laugh, the sound echoing harshly through your skull.

“Shut up! Just shut up!” You shouted, digging your fingers into your hair, half hoping you could claw his voice out.

“(Y/N)!” The Doctor suddenly spoke, causing you to jump. You hadn’t heard her approach. You felt her body heat as her arms gently brushed against you, wrapping around your body to untie the blindfold. You squinted as she pulled it away, the rush of light hurting your eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have left you.” She said almost frantically, kneeling just in front of you.

“It’s not your fault, you had to.” You replied, trying to smooth down your hair.

“Did he hurt you again? He shouldn’t be able to.” Her forehead wrinkled, and you could practically see her brain running a million miles a minute.

_“She’s a murderer.”_ The master’s voice was sing-song-y as it rang through your head. _“Ask her about the races she’s wiped out. The children she’s killed.”_

“Stop!” You yelled, slamming your hand onto the ground. It was grass, and dirt. You realized you hadn’t even looked at your surroundings yet. You looked up, and saw the Doctor first; fear etched across her face. “No, wait, I’m sorry, it’s just…him.” You sighed, before slowly standing up. You finally looked around and saw you were standing on a grassy slope, intersected a bit farther down by a rushing river. You noticed that the sky, whilst appearing to be blue, tinged with the lavender of an impending sunset, had a grid of barely visible panels running across it. The only indication you were still in the TARDIS. The Doctor stood up next to you, and you felt her eyes on you. “Where are we?” You asked.

“The TARDIS has many different power sources, this is one of the hydroelectric ones. She likes to take liberties with the aesthetics, and I can’t say I mind.”

“It’s beautiful.” You murmured. There was silence between the two of you for a few moments. “Doctor?” You asked, turning to face her. “The Master said something…about you.”

“What was it?” She asked, her eyes scanning your face.

“He said…that you were a murderer.” You said, your voice wavering. The Doctor looked…heartbroken. Her shoulders dropped, and her eyes slid away from your face. “But that’s wrong, right? He’s lying, of course, you don’t kill people, you save them.” You tried frantically to backpedal, but that only made the Doctor look sadder.

“(Y/N).” She whispered, and the way she spoke your name sent a shiver through you. You had never heard your name with such…feeling. “You’re always managing to see the good in people, even if…even if they don’t deserve it. I need to tell you the truth, but before I do, I need you to know that I understand if afterwards you want to leave. Want to leave me.” The Doctor felt as if she had been stabbed by a blade. Her hearts broke with your words. She knew she had to tell you, but also knew that doing so would drive you away forever.

“Tell me.”

“The Master was right, (Y/N). I’ve killed more people than you could imagine. Five lifetimes ago, I wiped out my entire race. I burned my home planet and all the people on it. I thought it was the only way to stop the war.”

“What war?”

“The time war. A war between my people and the daleks. It was a war so devastating that nothing would have survived. Our two races would have ended the universe along with themselves, so I destroyed both of them first.” The Doctor glanced up and saw a mask of emotion across your face. It wasn’t fear, or disgust, like she had expected though, it was simply sadness. “I went back though, crossed my own timestream dozens of times, all at once, it was dangerous and stupid, but I saved my planet. I saved Gallifrey. I could never find it again, but I reversed what I had done. But then…the Master.” The Doctor’s voice almost cracked, and she broke off.

_“This is my favorite part.”_ The Master spoke gleefully in your head.

“He found Gallifrey, wherever it was hidden, and…and destroyed it again. He showed me. Everyone dead; again.” You suddenly saw a vivid image of a red planet with soaring architecture, completely in ruins, bodies piled in the streets. You gasped in shock, and felt the Master laughing maniacally in your mind.

“But that wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to. That was the Master, not you.” You said firmly, taking a step forward, but the Doctor retreated slightly, keeping you at distance.

“It wasn’t just Gallifrey though.” She said. “After the time war, as the years went by, as the lifetimes went by, I began to forget, I became angry. I destroyed an entire fleet of Cybermen, (Y/N). Millions of cybermen, dead in an instant, at my hands. They used to be people, they were still people, and I murdered them…to make a point.”

“Doctor-” You tried to say, but she cut you off again.

“And all the people I love, the people I’ve travelled with. They always die, or forget, or get left behind, because of me. I’m not safe to be around. I’ve been so selfish in wanting to keep you with me. Every moment you’re here, your life is at risk.” Tears began to slide down the Doctor’s cheeks. You took in the remarkable woman standing before you, the soldier, the healer. You realized you didn’t care, nothing she could confess to would drive you away, make you see her as anything less than wonderful. You felt your heart aching, as if it was trying to take the Doctor’s pain, and feel it for her. _Oh_. You suddenly realized. The way you felt around her, how you never wanted her to stop touching you, the feeling of her lips saying your name. _Of course_. You thought.

_“You didn’t know?”_ The Master spoke incredulously in your mind. _“It’s been like pubescent hell in your subconscious. Doctor this, and Doctor that…and other things.”_ He was practically shouting, and it took all your effort to ignore him.

“Doctor.” You said, coming forward and pulling her into a tight hug. “It doesn’t matter.” You whispered. She pulled back, swiping at her tears.

“It does matter though, it matters because the Master was right. I’m a murderer. The things I’ve done are unspeakable. I’m just as bad as he is.”

“No. You regret what you did, which makes you so much better than he could ever be. Look at what you do every day, you help so many people, and sometimes you have to make impossible decisions. It’s not fair, but you do it anyway. Now I know, and I’m telling you, it doesn’t matter.”

“You’re too good.” The Doctor murmured, pressing her forehead against yours. For a moment, neither of you were thinking about how close your bodies were, you were simply doing what felt right. Then that moment ended, and almost simultaneously, you both seemed to register how close the other’s lips were, the touch of each other’s skin, and you both pulled away.

“Do any of the others know?” You asked.

“No.” The Doctor quickly said. “I…I don’t want to ask you to lie…and you can tell them if you want, but I’d rather they don’t know.” She looked so fragile, counter to her usual personality.

“Of course I won’t. Not if you don’t want me to.”

“I have one more secret too.” The Doctor said. Well, two, she thought to herself, if you included that she was falling bone crushingly hard for you. “I don’t die, like humans do. Time lords, if we’re not hurt too badly, can regenerate, completely change our bodies.”

“You mean…you haven’t always looked…like this?” You asked, your face flushing slightly as you let your gaze wander up and down the Doctor’s body.

“This look is pretty recent actually.” The Doctor admitted. “I’d just changed when I met you, Yaz, Graham, and Ryan.”

“Then- wait. How old are you?”

“Ah, that’s a tricky question. I was around 2,000, but in my last body I spent 4.5 billion years escaping a prison, but I was dying and making copies of myself over and over, so I tend not to count that.” You stared at her, partially expecting her to say it was a joke, but you knew, deep down, that it was the truth.

“Well, you certainly don’t look a day over 500.” You said, and immediately wanted to smack yourself. The Doctor only laughed. That made you feel better. At least she wasn’t crying anymore.

“In human years I’m probably around 35.” She smiled, tucking her hands into her pockets. She was happy. Happier than she had been in a long time It felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She’d just showed you the most despicable parts of herself, and you accepted them entirely.

“So, you’re saying humans mature faster than time lords?” You asked, tucking your tongue between your teeth to unsuccessfully fight off a grin.

“Oi!” The Doctor laughed. “Well, maybe some of you do.” She conceded, giving you a long look that you managed to completely miss because your eye had been caught again by the river.

“How long before we have to move again?” You asked, turning back to look at her.

“I can’t tell you, I’m sorry. Just in case…you know.”

“Oh, right. Right, of course. I forgot.”

“So…he isn’t there right now?”

“I can’t tell. It comes and goes. He’s not talking right now though.” You sighed. You began to walk over towards a calmer part of the river. Kicking off your shoes you sat down on the bank, letting the water rush over your feet. You glanced back and held out your hand to the Doctor, beckoning her to come sit beside you. She did, but only cross legged on the ground, at a slight angle so she was looking more at you than the water. “Tell me about your past selves.” You asked, lying back on the grass so you could see the faux sky. The Doctor watched you recline, and before she could stop herself, she found her hand reaching out to begin fiddling with your hair. That was too far. She thought, and was about to pull back and apologize, but then you hummed gently and tilted your head a little closer to her. It was nothing, she told herself, just contact between friends, and so she allowed her fingers to continue stroking and playing with your hair.

“Well, my last body was very Scottish.” She laughed, and began to talk, telling you about each of her regenerations, answering questions whenever you asked.


	3. The Way I Love You

As the two of you talked, the sky grew more and more colorful, then darker as the artificial light began to go away. Finally, you began to yawn, and the Doctor’s hand gave your hair one last twirl before stilling. “You need to sleep. Especially after the trauma your mind went through last night.” You wanted to argue, wanted to stay here forever, listening to the water, feeling the Doctor’s soft touches, but you knew she was right. Besides, she was only providing comfort as a friend would, and you didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable.

The two of you left the hydroelectric power room together, and then split off, you going to your room, and the Doctor going to the library to try to find information on breaking a psychic bond. The Master was disconcertingly quiet as you prepared for bed. Even still, you avoided looking in mirrors, and made sure to stare straight ahead as you showered. You did _not_ want to give him a peep show. You thought you were wide awake, but almost as soon as your head touched your pillow, you were asleep.

You knew you were dreaming because of the hazy veil that seemed to wrap around your mind. Threatening to change your surroundings if you lost focus for even a second. You felt like you were forgetting something, something big, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

_“Hello, (Y/N).”_ You whirled around and saw the Master standing just a few strides away. Right, that’s what you had forgotten.

“Go away.” You hissed, hopefully sounding braver than you felt.

_“But I was hoping we could talk, now that we have some quality time away from the Doctor.”_ He smiled, but his eyes retained the deranged anger that always burned behind them.

“I can wake up, I can end this.”

_“You can wake up, but I’m afraid you can’t get rid of me that easily, darling. So we might as well talk here, where we can…see each other.”_ His eyes casually climbed up the length of your body.

“Stop that.” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.

_“Why? You’re getting nowhere with your little crush on the Doctor. Perhaps it’s time you found another time lord?”_

“Trust me, you’re the last person I’d want to add to my body count.”

_“I wouldn’t need your permission, I could take you, just like I took your mind. Wasn’t that fun?”_ He bared his teeth in a sinister grin, and you remembered the searing pain of the nonconsensual mental bond.

“Stop! Just stop! What do you even want with me? Why are you doing this?”

_“Why else? To hurt the Doctor.”_

“Then why not go fuck around in her brain? How does my suffering hurt the Doctor?” The Master looked baffled for a moment, then began to laugh.

_“You really don’t know. You stupid, stupid, human. How could she fall in love with someone who’s so bloody brain dead!”_ He was furious, and his anger seemed to only be growing as he yelled. Wake up. You thought. You needed to wake up now. Wake up!

With a jolt, you sat up in your dark room. Heart pounding, chest heaving, as if you had just run a marathon.

_“You haven’t gotten rid of me.”_ The Master’s voice seethed in your mind. _“You can never get rid of me, (Y/N). I’ll always be here, tearing your head apart from the inside out.”_ You ripped off your covers and practically ran out of your room. _“That’s right. Go run to your Doctor. Tell her all about what the bad Master has done now.”_ He laughed and then went silent, and you got the distinct impression that he had done the mental version of slamming a door and storming off.

You found the Doctor in the control room, poring over the computer system. She looked up as you walked in, hovering in the entryway.

“Are you alright?” She asked, concern immediately overtaking her face.

“Yeah. I just…can’t sleep anymore. Wanted to be with you.” You said, your face flushing even at that small admission. The Master’s words played in your mind, but you shook them away. He was a manipulator, you were all but certain he had been lying.

“Was it him?” You sighed and nodded as you walked over to sit on the steps.

“He’s quiet now though.” You added. She frowned and came over to lean against the wall near you. “Did you find anything about how to break it?” You asked, trying not to allow yourself to be too hopeful.

“There’s lots of literature on psychic links, but almost all of it assumes the link was made consensually.”

“Almost?”

“I found a small footnote in one of the books about an unwilling bond, and I tracked the source back to this database. That’s what I was looking at just now.” She nodded over at the computer screen. “The primary method of breaking a psychic bond is going into one’s mind and severing it. That’s what I was telling you about before. Humans don’t have the telepathic capabilities for that kind of mental introspection, but time lords do, and were we linked, I could do it for you. That would leave us psychically bonded though. There is another option, it’s for the victim to put up mental barricades, which, over time, will dull the connection. It won’t break it completely, but will make it a shadow of itself.”

“What do you mean mental barricades?”

“You’d have to learn to divert brain processing power to shield your mind from the Master, effectively blocking him from seeing and communicating through your head.”

“How am I supposed to learn to do that?”

“I can show you. We can practice. It’s not an entire solution, but it might just be a good enough bandage.” You nodded, turning over the idea in your head. You wondered why you didn’t feel more excited that there was another way out. Maybe…you wanted to link with the Doctor. Your train of thought was cut off by a yawn. “You can go back to sleep. We can start practicing in the morning.” The Doctor offered, moving to hover slightly over you. You gazed up at her, and lightly bit your lip, wishing she was just a little bit closer, so you could reach out and touch her, maybe pull her down to-. You cut off your thoughts before they delved any further.

“I’m worried if I fall asleep he’ll be there again.” You said, fighting down the pink that had risen in your cheeks.

“I can stay with you again.” She said, then blushed. “I mean, only if you want, that is, if you think it would help.” Her words stumbled over one another.

“Would you mind?” You asked. The Doctor almost laughed. Would she mind? Given her way she would stay with you in your bed every night for the rest of time. She clamped down on her thoughts.

“’Course not.” She smiled. “You go on, give me a minute to finish things up here and I’ll be there.” You nodded before standing and walking out of the control room. You accidentally brushed the Doctor as you stood up, and you felt your heart skip a beat. You kept walking stoically though, only allowing a sigh to escape once you were sure you were far enough away from the control room. True to her words, you were only lying in bed for a few minutes before the Doctor quietly slipped into the room. You saw that once again she had shed her coat, suspenders, and shoes, leaving her only in a t-shirt and those ridiculous flowing pants. She came and sat on the bed next to you, tucking one of her legs in so she was half cross legged, the free leg dangling off the edge of the mattress. “I can try to put up a temporary block so you can at least get a little bit of sleep. It’ll be flimsier than the first one, especially now that he’s more firmly cemented in your mind.”

“Yes please.” You whispered. She moved closer to you, reaching an arm over your body to steady herself, effectively pinning you in. She gently placed the fingertips of her free hand on your temple, and you felt your entire body relax as the familiar presence of the Doctor entered your mind. It only took a moment, and she withdrew psychically, but hesitated a moment, not wanting to withdraw physically. “Doctor?” You asked, your voice barely audible.

“Yeah?” She replied, still not moving.

“The Master…he said something earlier. Something that…I didn’t understand.” You tested the waters, hardly believing you were finding the courage to even begin broaching this with her.

“What was it?” She asked, moving to pull her hand away from your temple, but you quickly reached up and held it in place.

“He said…he made this psychic link between us…to hurt you. But I don’t understand. How does hurting me hurt you?”

“(Y/N).” Your name was almost a whisper on her lips. “He’s trying to get to me through the things, the people I love. First Gallifrey, now you.”

“But why me? Why not Yaz, or Graham, or Ryan?” You were straining up slightly now, and kept having to drag your eyes from her lips which were so close, hovering just inches from yours.

“Because…” Her voice trailed off, and she let out a soft, shaky breath. “Because he knows the way I love them is different from the way I love you.” She was about to say something else, but you interrupted her, reaching up and hooking a finger around the collar of her shirt, pulling her down on top of you so you could press your lips to hers. She froze for a moment and then softened against you, moving her hand along your jaw to tilt your face slightly. Her lips were soft, and you could feel her hearts pounding against your hand which was still pressed against her chest, captured in place by your bodies. Altogether too soon, you broke apart.

“I’m sorry, if that was too sudden, I just…I realized I’m completely in love with you, and-” Your spilling words were cut off by the Doctor pushing you back against the bed, swinging her leg to slot herself between yours, and pressing her lips back to yours. She moved between your legs, trying to readjust, but only succeeded in pressing her upper thigh against your core. Your lips fell open in a moan, and she took advantage of that to delve her tongue into your mouth. You squirmed beneath her, your hip tilting against her center enough for a shock to jolt through her. She broke away from your lips and pressed open-mouthed kisses to your neck, gently nipping at places. You ran your hands up her sides, slipping under her shirt to squeeze at the soft skin of her waist. Suddenly, your rational mind broke through and you pushed her back, scrambling so you were sitting up.

“Are you okay?” She asked, she looked scared, almost like a deer in the headlights, and you hated yourself for causing that in her.

“No, no, it’s not your fault, but we can’t.”

“Oh.” She looked heartbroken, and moved to slide away, but you reached out and caught her arm before she could.

“No! I mean, I don’t want this while he’s in my head. I want you, god, I want you, but I want it to be just us. I don’t want him watching, and I certainly don’t want him to see you.”

“Oh, right.” The Doctor flushed, straightening her shirt.

“Will you still stay with me?” You asked.

“After that kiss, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” She smiled before shifting to push the covers down, letting you crawl under first before pulling them back up over the two of you. The TARDIS brought the lights down as she pulled your back against her front, holding you tightly to her, as if afraid you’d disappear. You put your hand atop hers that was resting on your stomach, interlacing your fingers. You let out a small, contented sigh before allowing your eyes to flutter closed. The last thing you felt before you drifted into sleep was the Doctor pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder.


	4. Block Him Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things start to get a bit fast paced from here on, so the chapters are a little shorter. Also, fair warning, this is the chapter responsible for the archive warnings. There's a somewhat graphic description of death towards the end.

You woke to the Master screaming in your mind.

_“A mental block? That’s just rude, (Y/N).”_ You were so startled that you managed to roll yourself off the bed entirely. You only just managed to twist your fall so you landed on your back instead of your face.

“Are you alright?” The Doctor asked, quickly scrambling out of the bed to come help you up.

_“When are you going to learn? Your mind belongs to me!”_

“It’s the Master. He found the mental block you put up.” You said to the Doctor, wincing as the Master’s words tore through your head. She moved to press her fingertips to your temples, but you quickly caught her hands, pulling them down, but not letting go. “I wouldn’t. It’s like a war zone in there, I worry what he would do if he found you poking around.”

“I can’t just let him terrorize you.” She squeezed your hands.

“It’s alright, he can’t actually hurt me. He’s powerless.” You sneered, your words more directed at the Master than the Doctor.

_“You really think so? So, you want to see just how much I can hurt you.”_ You could hear his maniacal grin through his words, and then your mind went quiet. Somehow that was even more concerning.

“He’s gone now.” You said with a sigh, focusing on the Doctor who was still standing in front of you, gripping onto your hands. “Can you start teaching me how to put up mental barricades?”

“Yeah. You get changed, I need to go alter our flight pattern, just in case. I’m worried about what he’s going to do with you provoking him like that.”

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, sliding your eyes away from her face.

“Hey, no, it’s your head, you’re allowed to fight back. I just want to take extra precautions.” She said, catching your chin in her hand and forcing you to look back at her. You saw her eyes flit down to your lips for a second, and you smiled, pulling her into a kiss.

“Okay, go, I’ll be there in a moment.” You said, releasing her. She walked out of your room, not before stealing one last glance back at you.

It didn’t take you long to change out of pajamas, run a brush through your hair, and quickly brush your teeth. You were spurred on first by the fear of the Master’s return, and second by the need to be with the Doctor. When you finally re-entered the control room, the Doctor was so absorbed by the screen she was looking at that she didn’t seem to hear you. You stood for a moment, letting your eyes trace her body, admiring her features, remembering how her curves had felt under your hands. You wished you could touch her again, then realized, nothing was stopping you. You quietly walked over to her and wrapped your arms around her middle, hugging her body against yours. She jumped at your initial touch, then, realizing it was you, turned in your grip so she could press a kiss to your lips.

“How does your mind feel? I don’t want to overwhelm you. You’ve had so much psychic energy flowing through it these past few days.” She asked, pulling away from you.

“It hurts a little, but more tired than anything else. I’m alright, I want to learn to do this before he comes back.”

“Alright then. I’m going to enter your mind, and you’re going to try to push me out.”

“How?” You asked, trying not to sound as nervous as you felt.

“It’s a direct focus of the mind, so kind of like meditation I suppose. You can’t let yourself get distracted, your entire mind must be focused on one point, then use that telepathic energy to project walls around your mind.”

“Okay. Do it.” You said, and the Doctor touched your temples, both of you closing your eyes.

“Breathe.” The Doctor coached. “Focus, pull your mind back to the task at hand every time even a fragment of it tries to wander off. Now push me out. Visualize a wall if that helps, but direct all your processing power to getting me out of your head.” The first thing that came to your mind was a bubble, and you allowed yourself to focus all your energy on it, then imagined it first wrapping around you, then expanding throughout your mind, pushing away anything that wasn’t you. You felt the moment your imagined bubble hit the Doctor, and you felt hesitant to push her away, even if it was only in practice. “It’s alright.” The Doctor whispered, her breath ghosting over your cheek. You strained and pushed the bubble outward, but then it popped, and you snapped your eyes open.

“It didn’t work.” You sighed.

“It was a first try, (Y/N). I felt it, you almost had it. You just have to keep practicing.”

“Okay.” You nodded, steeling yourself to try again. The two of you kept at it for what felt like hours. You kept almost getting it, but then your bubble would burst and your defenses would shatter.

“(Y/N) maybe we should take a break, I’m worried about how far we’re pushing your mind.” The Doctor finally said, her worried eyes searching your face.

“Just once more, please. I’ve almost got it, I know I can do this.” You begged.

“Once more, then we stop.” The Doctor reluctantly agreed, bringing her fingertips back up to your temples. You had only just begun gathering your psychic energy when your entire mind began to swirl. Suddenly, without warning, you saw a vivid image of the broken streets of Gallifrey, piled with bodies, the ground awash in blood. You heard the Doctor cry out, and you blinked your eyes open to see her stumbling back. “Doctor!” You quickly moved forward to touch her, to console her, to do anything, but then your mind was taken over again.

_“Now that I’ve finally got her out of the way, we can begin.”_ The Master spoke.

“What did you do?!” You shouted.

_“Nothing compared to what I’m about to.”_ You suddenly saw a mental image of a group of three people and a child, all huddled together, backs pressed against a wall. Somehow you knew that you were seeing through the Master’s eyes.

“What are you doing?” You asked, your voice wavering. “Who are they?”

_“Why should I care who they are? Corpses don’t have names.”_ He laughed, and you saw an arm, as if it were your own, raise with a gun held tightly in its hand.

“Stop! What are you doing?!” You asked, frantically trying to shake him from your mind. You saw the people flinch, two were sobbing, and the other was pushing the child behind their body, trying to shield them.

_“Guns are so tacky, and so messy, but for this purpose, it’ll serve quite well.”_ The Master pointed the weapon and fired off 4 rounds. His aim was perfect, and you watched in horror as wounds ripped through the group of people and they fell to the ground in a spray of blood and brain matter. You heard screaming, and then realized it was coming from your own throat.

_“Look at what you did.”_ The Master tutted, walking forward and nudging one of the lifeless bodies with the toe of his shoe.

“(Y/N)!” Another voice broke through, and you realized it was the Doctor. You couldn’t see her, but you could feel her hands on your arms. “Block him out, remember what we were practicing. Focus, love, you have to focus.” You dragged your mind away from the scene of death in front of you, and began to focus on a singular point. You let everything coalesce into one thought, one purpose, to block the Master out. With a shout you expanded your psychic energy, letting it rip across your mindscape, and with that, the world went black and your body crumpled to the floor.


	5. Minds Woven

You blinked your eyes open, squinting against the lights that were swimming above you. As your vision began to clear, you noticed the Doctor, and realized she was holding you in her lap.

“(Y/N)!” She gasped, bringing a hand up to cup your face. “Are you okay? Is he still there?” You took in a shuddering breath, tears welling in your eyes as you suddenly remembered the Master.

“No. No, he’s quiet. What happened?” You asked, pushing yourself up. The Doctor helped you to shakily stand.

“He pushed me out of your mind with a vision of Gallifrey, then you were fighting…he was doing something. I told you to put up a mental barrier, and then you collapsed. You were only out for a few minutes, the amount of psychic energy you must’ve conjured was too much for your body.”

“Oh god.” You whispered, beginning to cry harder. You reached out, grabbing onto the Doctor, clinging to her in a desperate hug. “He killed them. He killed them and made me watch.”

“Who?” The Doctor asked, her voice suddenly ice cold with fury.

“I don’t know. Three people, and…and a kid. He just shot them, Doctor, he didn’t even hesitate. And the way it looked, it was like I did it. I could feel their blood hitting my skin.” Your voice cracked, and you broke off into sobs. The control room was silent except for your soft cries.

“Love, come here, look at me.” The Doctor said, and the sadness that permeated her voice stunned you. You pulled back slightly and looked at her as her hand came up to caress your face. “You didn’t kill them. They might not have even been real. The Master could have easily projected whatever image he wanted to into your mind. I know it felt real, but you need to understand it wasn’t your fault.” Her thumb gently wiped away tears which still clung to your cheeks. “You put up a mental barrier, you were so strong, and you did it. You’re safe for now.”

“No, no, no.” You pulled away from her, spinning in a slow circle. “He’s going to come back, isn’t he?” The Doctor was silent, staring at you. “He is. It’s what you said, this was only a mental barricade, the link wasn’t severed. He’ll be back.”

“I’m sorry, but you can put up another block, and over time it’ll get easier.”

“No! I can’t go through that again! I don’t want him in my head ever again!” You didn’t realize how loud your voice had gotten. “Doctor, I want to bond with you.” You said, still keeping distance between the two of you, unsure of how she’d react.

“(Y/N), I told you, I can’t psychically link with you unless you want it entirely. Just wanting it, just wanting me, to get rid of the Master isn’t good enough. It’ll hurt both of us.”

“But I do want it, want you.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying.” She tried to brush you off.

“Don’t do that! I know that I love you. I know that I hate every second I’m away from you. We both know the reason I couldn’t form a mental block when we were practicing was because I couldn’t stand to force you out of my mind. I want you there, I want you with me, always.” You were crying again. The Doctor walked over to you, and as she grew closer, you realized she had tears in her eyes too.

“(Y/N).” She whispered your name in that beautiful, perfect way that only she could. Then she captured your lips with hers. This kiss was different from the others you had shared. It was harsh, full of need, and pain, and love. It felt as if you were both trying to steal each other’s breath, as lips tore into lips, teeth clashed, and arms wrapped around one another. You both broke apart, and the Doctor tipped her forehead forward to lean against yours. “Okay.” She murmured. Her hand wandered down to interlace in yours, and she gently began to lead you out of the control room. “We should hurry then, before he comes back.” She said, her pace quickening. The two of you began to jog, then together you were running, hand in hand, down the TARDIS corridors. The Doctor pulled you through a door and you were back in the hydroelectric room. “I wanted to be somewhere calming, so we wouldn’t overload your mind, and…you seemed to like it here.” She panted. You pulled her back against you in a deep kiss, letting your fingers knot in her hair. Your heart was pounding from running, adrenaline, lust. “Come here.” The Doctor murmured. She pulled you down to sit on the ground, then straddled your lap. You wrapped your arms around her waist, pulling her body closer to yours.

“Are you sure you want this?” You asked, reaching up to tuck a section of hair behind her ear.

“I’ve wanted this since the last time we were in this room together.” She smiled down at you. You grinned back, completely overwhelmed by the love you felt for this woman.

“Do I need to do anything?” You asked, suddenly nervous.

“No. Just lie back, and let me take care of you.” Her voice was husky, and she pressed her lips to yours, slowly pushing you back onto the ground, never breaking your kiss. You expected her to press her fingertips to your temples, like she always did when she was telepathically connecting with you. Instead, one hand came to the side of your face, and the other ghosted its way up your side, settling on your waist. “Are you ready?” She asked, breaking your kiss, giving you one last chance to back out.

“Yes.” You whispered. She smiled and then pressed her lips back against yours. The instant your lips touched, you felt her in your mind. It was so different from all the other times. She was entirely woven into every aspect of your being, but, you realized, as were you with her. You saw every moment of her existence. All of her faces, all of her lives. The others she loved; Susan, Rose, River. You suddenly saw yourself through her mind, and felt the overwhelming way she felt about you. You knew that at the same time, she was seeing every part of you. Those days when you were at your lowest, so broken you could hardly move, and the moments you were happiest. You felt her wrap her energy around the mangled scars of the Master’s violent connection with you, and then in an instant, she dissolved them. All the while, your lips moved against each other’s. She enveloped your mind, smoothing down the rough edges, calming the hurt.

The Doctor finally pulled back, propping herself up so she could properly gaze down at you. You noticed though that the feeling of her in your mind didn’t go away. It wasn’t as overwhelming, but it was still there, her presence. It felt good, no, more than good; It felt right. 

“I can feel you in my mind.” You said softly.

“I can feel you in mine too.” She replied, tapping her forehead.

“So, you’re always with me now?”

“Always.”

“Is he gone? The Master. Did you break the link?”

“Yep, all taken care of. He can’t hurt you anymore. You’re safe, (Y/N).”

“Oh, thank god.” You breathed out, bringing your hands to the Doctor and then flipping the two of you over so she was now pinned beneath you.


	6. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is entirely smut. My apologies ahead of time, I can only write sexy times well if the planets align, and the universe just wasn't working with me, so I wish this had come out a little better ;)

You barely gave her a moment to adjust before your lips were tearing into hers. She squirmed beneath you and you felt a flash of annoyance go through her mind at how uncomfortable the ground was. You broke the kiss and she whined. You laughed. “Maybe we can…go to the bedroom?” You suggested, biting your lip.

“Yes please.” She chuckled, her cheeks flushing pink. You clambered off of her before helping pull her to her feet. You walked to her room together, fingers intertwined, one of you nudging into the other every so often. It was funny, you’d never considered the Doctor having a room on the TARDIS before. Now that you thought about it though, it only made sense. It was her ship after all. The room was a little cluttered, but surprisingly orderly for the Doctor; probably due to a lack of use, you thought. You’d definitely have to change that. Your train of thought was cut off by the Doctor looping an arm around your waist and pulling your back against her front, pressing kisses to your neck. You turned in her grasp and let your hands trail up her sides before pushing her jacket from her shoulders. You pulled her against you in a kiss and began pulling the hem of her shirt.

“Wait.” She said, pulling away from you slightly.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, I just…I’ve never…in this body.” She stammered, her face slowly growing redder.

“Alright…then it’s my turn.” You smiled, slowly pulling her shirt off of her body. “Lie back.” Your hands crept to her pants and you unbuttoned them before pushing her backwards onto the bed. “And let me take care of you.” You murmured, working her pants off of her legs until she was lying there in only her underwear. You moved forward, but she propped herself up on her elbows.

“I want to see you.” She said, pointedly looking at your clothing. You grinned, sticking your tongue between your teeth, and backed up a step. Slowly you grabbed onto the hem of your shirt, and in one fluid movement, pulled it over your head. The Doctor’s eyes never left your body as you removed the rest of your clothes, piece by piece, until you stood before her completely bare. “You’re beautiful.” She whispered. You smiled, and moved forward, leaning over her on the bed, placing your knee between her legs for support. You kissed her lips, then slowly worked your way down her body, pressing kisses to her soft skin. You felt her hands running over your bare skin, squeezing your breasts, scratching up your back. You worked your hands behind her back and undid her bra, pulling it off of her body. You moved down and caught one of her nipples between your teeth, pulling slightly and then kissing the swell of her breast. You moved your knee, and the Doctor let out a breathy moan. She pushed herself down, trying to grind against your leg.

You dragged your body down hers until you were on your knees next to the bed. Reaching up, you slowly slid her underwear off her legs. You ran your hands along the underside of her calves, gently bringing her legs to hook over your shoulders. You pressed delicate, feather light kisses to the insides of her thighs before finally taking her in your mouth. Your tongue pushed into her, and you let your fingers begin to slowly circle around her clit. Her breaths were coming faster, and as you worked, she began to squirm her hips. You reached your free arm around to grasp one of her thighs, holding her in place. You suddenly moved your mouth up, and began to circle her clit with your tongue, reveling in the moans that were pouring from her lips. Without warning, you lightly bit down on her bundle of nerves, and that pushed her over the edge. Her thighs clamped around your face. You continued laving the spot as she rode out her orgasm, only stopping when her legs finally relaxed.

Rising from your kneeling position, you licked the Doctor’s juices from your lips. She sat up and backed up further onto the bed.

“C’mere.” She said, reaching her hand out for you. You didn’t need further invitation, and you climbed onto the bed, allowing her to pull your body down atop hers. She pressed her lips to yours, then pulled your lower lip between her teeth. She kissed along your jaw, coming to light on your neck, sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin there. In the back of your mind you knew it was going to leave a mark, and the thought sent a rush through you. The Doctor moved her leg beneath you, bringing it up enough for your slick core to drag against it. A moan broke free from your lips and you buried your face against her neck as a wave of pleasure washed over you. You pulled your head back up, and made eye contact with the woman beneath you as she smirked then proceeded to repeat the action.

“Doctor.” You groaned, digging your fingertips into her skin. Without warning, she flipped the two of you over so you were now firmly slotted beneath her, legs entangled. Your hands fell to her hips as she began to roll them experimentally against you. You adjusted slightly beneath her, and then her thigh came to rest perfectly against your core. “Yes. There.” You breathed, barely able to form words as she sped up, dragging her thigh over your burning heat. You pushed your leg up slightly and the Doctor moaned, quickening her pace. Your bodies moved in unison against one another, pushing each other closer and closer to the edge. You were almost there when you felt the Doctor reach out with her mind. You connected with her, merging your minds together, and with that, you came. The Doctor’s orgasm ripped through her a moment later, and you realized that with your psychic link, you could feel it too. The sensations drove you over the edge again. The Doctor pressed tender kisses wherever she could reach until the last waves of pleasure dissipated. She gently slid off of you, and you rolled onto your side so you were both lying facing each other. Your eyes traced her mussed hair, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. “Well, you caught on quickly.” You said, finally beginning to catch your breath.

“I had an _excellent_ teacher.” She replied, a smile spreading across her face as she reached out to run a gentle thumb over the contours of your face. You caught her hand in yours, brought it to your lips and lightly kissed it. The two of you lay there facing each other, simply enjoying being near. Unbidden, you found your eyelids growing heavy. “Sleep.” The Doctor whispered, coming closer to wrap an arm around you and draw her into her side. “Your mind needs to rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I love you.” You murmured, before letting your eyes shut, and your body succumb to quiet sleep.


	7. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief conclusion of how I imagine the rest of their lives.

You wanted that first night after you slept with the Doctor to be perfect, but it wasn’t. That was the first time the night terrors began. You woke yourself up screaming. You saw the gun, the blood, the child’s head breaking apart. You were trying to get to them, to stop it, but it felt as if you were moving through molasses. Even after waking up the image of death was seared into your eyelids. Your heart was pounding, and tears flowed down your cheeks. But the Doctor was there. She took you into her arms, holding you tight to her. She murmured soothing words which you couldn’t quite manage to hear. Eventually her touch calmed you, and after a while you could even fall back asleep.

As your time together continued, the nightmares did grow less frequent, but they never went away. The Doctor was always there though. She would hold you, and soothe your mind, easing the pain.

Every so often there would be nights when you would wake to her soft cries as she was plagued by dreams of her losses. Just as she did for you, you would bundle her into your arms, and hold her as she cried. Neither of you would be able to entirely overcome your trauma, it was part of you, an inescapable facet. But now you didn’t bear it alone. Together you loved, and together you lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3


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